This is one of my favorite faulty beliefs because of the way I became aware of it and corrected it in myself. 

It is almost universally recognized that people resist change.  So when I heard about the "Change Shop," I decided I needed this workshop to learn how to change people and organizations.  It was a 7 day workshop.  Each day started at 7am at breakfast and usually did not finish until 10 pm.  It was an intense experience.  At the beginning of the workshop we were given the schedule for the first half and told that once we were half way through the workshop the rest of the agenda would be worked out.  Right on schedule just before dinner on Wednesday we finished all the agenda items except one.  That last agenda item was "Change the Change Shop." As we broke for dinner we were told that when we returned we would change the Change Shop.  That is the 40 participants would change the Change Shop.  The instructors would answer questions, but do no more.  If we wanted to be change leaders then we should practice and this was as good a time as any.  Jerry the workshop leader suggested we discuss it over dinner. 

I had known Jerry for several years and had read all of his books.  I knew there was something more than immediately met the eye.  The group had previously been divided into 4 teams, each team further divided in into 2 groups of 5 people.  Our team went to dinner together with the intent of discussing what change we wanted in the Change Shop..  The members of the team were very interesting people and we ended up talking about other things rather than how to change the Change Shop.  On the way back from dinner in the car I suggested that we propose to the entire group that we needed some structure otherwise 40 individuals would have a very difficult time coming to any type of consensus.  We agreed that we propose that we divide into the 4 groups that already existed and that each group appoint a spokesperson for the 10 person subgroups.  Everyone should agree that if there was a stalemate in coming to an agreement each 10 person group would abdicate a final decision to our spokesperson.  We agreed to suggest Tom from the other 5 person sub-team be our spokesperson.  He easily had everyone's confidence that he would be fair in any dispute and was articulate enough to well represent our desires to the other teams.

On the way out of the car I had an idea.  I suggested to Jim, one of my team members that we arrange the chairs so that 4 chairs faced each other and 9 chairs behind each of the four.  He agreed.  We both thought it was a great way to physically represent our idea.  Oh, how easy it is to be so very wrong. 

We were a few minutes early.  We started arranging the chairs.  The few who were already there asked us what we thought we were doing.  We said we were making a suggestion and setting up the chairs to show the suggestion.  The opposition was strong and immediate.  It took more than an hour before we got enough of the people to agree before the die hard opposition finally gave in.  And that turned out to be nothing compared to what happen next.  The other 35 people had indeed spent time during dinner coming up with an incredible number of suggestions and strong opinions on how the Change Shop would change.  We were the only group who had gotten side tracked about other matters.  We finished at 11:30 taking a total of 4 1/2 hours.  The next day I asked Jerry how long it had taken other groups.  Usually they finished or most just gave up about 2 am.  We had finished faster than any other group, it seemed the process worked better than what other groups experienced.  Throughout the rest of the workshop I heard resentment about how I usurped the process by re-arranging the chairs.  Yet, I had no particular opinion about what we changed, only that we didn't argue about it late into the night and that no one just gave in or up because they were tired of fighting.

No one at the workshop was resisting change.  The only resistance was changing the way I wanted.  Since the workshop I have repeatedly noted that the more a person wants to change something the more they resist changing to what I want.

If you believe that others resist change then you will look for ways to overcome their resistance.  If you accept that people want change then you will find out what want satisfaction they are trying to increase and work with them to find a change that you and they agree will meet your mutual objectives.  Sometimes I have not been able to reach agreement with others, but, at least, we understood why.  Sometimes wants between individuals are not compatible.  When this is the case it is important to know.  Most of the time agreement on change is quite feasible.  Assume the other person wants change and you will all get there faster. 

There are some people who sometimes do resist change because they have acquired a belief that change is usually for the worse.  You must understand the situation.  Is someone resisting your change because they want to make a different change? Are they resisting because their wants will not be satisfied with your change? Are they simply resisting change because they think most change is for the worse? Change is complex.

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